You are the company you keep

Birds of a feather flock together and hence the group of friends you spend most of your time with, and the direction they are headed is a clear indication of your own direction... so long as you keep within that group. A smart man surrounds himself with smart people. So if you hang around people who are complain a lot but never do anything about the situation they are in, then guest what? That's what you will end up being like. So the statement basically means that choose your friends wisely for you will be judged by others to whom the company you keep. However, it's not so much on what other people think anyway. It's more a good reflection on your personality as to the calibre of the company you keep.

So, do stop and have a look around you when you are with your group of friends. Is being like A what you want? Is having what B has what you want? If behaving like C what you would want your children behave like? If the answer is 'no', then you need to look for new friends. Make no mistake about it, when we put our head in the "trash can", the rest of our body eventually falls in. It happens all the time. What you focus your energy on... and your time spent with friends is energy spent on a focal point... you eventually end up with. 

You see, the thing about human nature is that when we are in a group, we (as the group) will pull whomever in the group who is trying to be different back down into the rut with us. This goes for both relatives as well as friends. In some cases, relatives are the worse. I believe the Filipinos call this the Crab-in-the-Pot mentality. Individually, the crabs can easily escape from the pot that they are in, but instead, they will grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition which prevents any from escaping and thus ensuring their collective demise. The analogy in human behaviour is that members of a group will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings. And the danger here is they may do this sub-consciously, not necessarily consciously.

So, now... How do you break out of the group? Well, it's not as easy as it seems and yet it's not as difficult as it really is. First, you need to determine the suitability of the group you are with i.e. their mindset; their outlook; what they have; their being; their approach; their integrity; their energy and urgency etc. For simplicity, I'll just lump all that as the group's "bar". After that you need to ask yourself if THAT (where their "bar" is set) is what you want. If the answer is no, then perhaps it would help to clear the air for yourself by then asking yourself, where should the "bar" be set? Or, where would you like your "bar" to be set? With that in mind, you can use the law of attraction to bring this new group to you. Like attract like. It's funny but even the old saying (that do not seem related) that "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" also applies here. When you set in your mind and thus your mind's frequency what you want, the universe will bring that which you want to you. Pretty soon, you will start making new friends that will support you in your quest. They may have similar ideals you have; think in the same frequency with you etc. In some cases, they've always been there but you've never noticed them before because you only saw the previous group due to your mind's frequency. They may point you in certain directions or introduce you to other friends that have the right knowledge to guide you towards your goals and aspirations. And these are people whom you would never have met if you did not "raise your hands and asked for help". You would have been happily and ignorantly stuck.

However, be warned... the previous group will notice your impending departure. And like the Crab-in-the-pot, they will belittle you, cast doubt on your own new found aspirations, even attempt to make you doubt your new found friends. And sometimes, they do not necessarily do this in a direct manner, but in a reverse psychology way. this is where you will face your real test. Do you really want what you said you want? Are those new aspirations really important to you? Make no mistake about it, the power of association, in this case it's the negative aspect i.e. the need to feel accepted, is indeed a very very strong emotion. Fail this test, and it's back into the pot with the rest of the crabs. 

If you pass this test, never look back for you are free. You may or may not achieve your aspirations the way you envisioned them, but you would have taken a bold new step towards a whole new world, opening many new doors towards different more positive possibilities. The future would be a blank white piece of paper and your are the Pica-so or Michaelangelo of your own masterpiece which is your life.

And by the way, after awhile, it is fine to return and "catch up" with the old group. No, I'm not asking you to be obnoxious. You are all still friends, just no

t so close any more. Catching up is a good way of remembering our roots and to reflect on what we have achieved. Would you still be like them if you did not take that leap of faith? Maybe, maybe not? But I'm sure you would not exchange what you have now with what you had the last time.