Thursday, April 5, 2012

Sexual Addiction (part 2) - an addiction of pure lust

From the desk of Oscar Lai

continued from Part 1

While attempting to write this post the whole day, my mind was filled with sex. Oh gee...not like it's what you are thinking. Anyway, the info here might not be in it's totality and, based on what is channeled best and written is another story.

Sex addiction, is an addiction of pure lust and physical and these individuals often have huge commitment problems, and fear of becoming close to someone. A real sex addict, does not really enjoy sex, and instead it causes a chain reaction of shame, guilt, fear, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Most times, when a sex addict is married, they will not get off by having normal sex with their spouse, let alone, a sex addict is incapable of feeling true love, and therefore usually in most cases, relationships do not work out. A sex addict can however, learn how to become a decent person, and learn how to feel if they are thorough and honest with their recovery. Support from their loved ones will be of utmost importance and tolerance for a successful recovery as well.

There are many types of sexual addiction and different classifications, such as porn addiction and in most cases, there are added paraphernalia, which are abnormal and most time dangerous fetishes in which one cannot get off by anything else. It can also be accompanied by abuse of drug or substances and alcohol abuse.

There are also sex addiction that stems from trauma, such as sexual abuse in one's past. Some people develop sex addiction from learned behaviors of abuse, or even very traumatic incidences in childhood. This type can also become very dangerous, given the fact that there are many sex addicts who resort to get off by violence and hurting people, and are trapped in that habit, and equally, they may disassociate and constantly hurt themselves.

On another side, it is also entwined with personality disorders and chemical brain imbalances, where this mental disease is rare, but can begins at birth or early childhood. Causes are unknown, thus it is classified as a mental disease, and chemical brain imbalance. It can also result from other mental illnesses. Please note that addictions do not choose what or who you are, you can be a professional in some high flying job, or you can be plain Jane. Everyone is human and every human have an addiction of some sort.

There are many differing opinions on the religious side of sexual addiction, or in fact any other addictions as it is categorized as the same. However, I am really wondering about on the spirituality and energy side. This is because sex itself should be a pleasure between couples in relationships and individuals, and it is an art in Kamasutra and Tantric sex,and it is also tied with creativity and awakening of the Kundalini in energy modules.

On the spiritual side, all sex addicts have a powerful physical and spiritual healing ability to some extent. They are so captivated with the sexual and physical aspect that they then become intent on abusing such power. If learned properly, a sex addict can be a very powerful healer.

Most sex addicts are highly insecure or not confident. However, they appear highly charismatic, sociable, and have the ability to entice and seduce many people with their strong auras. Their partners will also become addicted to them. On another side, some are also extremely egoistic, self seeking, and like to be in the spot light. They tend to enjoy bragging about their problems.

Sex addiction has many symptoms, such as frequent injuries due to sexual behaviours, depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses entwined with it, the famous feeling of guilt and shame, suicidal thoughts, black outs, anger problems and other emotional problems. When deprived of sex, a sex addict will act out dangerously.

On another side of this where I opined, I would also say that human, once have abundance of something, will not take it as a surprise anymore as they get "their devil side fed", and thus as a form of release, able to accept themselves and steer back to normality in real. Release it as it comes, feed the devil side and let it subside, and then re-enforce light when the mind is centered again and increase the light side against the dark side. Healing might be easier in this way. But the addict should also be able to help in ways of abstinence or taking back the control and power over their own dark side. Just like a simple example, if everyone can afford a luxury here, say Iphone, then Iphone is not something of a luxury anymore where you will have to sell a kidney for an Iphone (a girl in China doing so). It has become normal and when the desire of acquiring it is not strong, it can be under control. It is hard to satisfy a million desires, so why not try harder to control one desire that leads to the million desires. The effort put into controlling that one desire and able to come out of it is worth it.

So if we are to understand what sort of game or sex act or fetish that sex addicts are looking for and if it is a cry for something higher beneath their soul yearning, what could it be? Why do they do what they do in an addictive continuous manner? Imagine if we are a sex addict, and we are to walk into a big clubhouse with the only intention of getting sex, no inhibitions, no one judging or disrespecting you at all . And in these rooms, all kind of games are in play, which room would you knock on?



Room 1
Slave/Submissive sex - where you listen to your Master and do what they ask you to do. (Individual could be a powerful person in real life who have been giving orders to other people, and thus would choose this room for a change)
(astrology config- 6th or 12th house with saturn, rahu, ketu, mars, moon, pluto interplay)

Room 2
Bondage/S&M - where you got tied up, whips and chains are your best friend and pain is pleasure (Individual could be yearning for a higher power that can release him/her from one controlling power for freedom, or instead of taking control all the time, someone to take control of him/her in real)
(astrology config-7th house with mars, ketu, saturn, venus, neptune interplay)

Room 3
Groupies/Orgy - group participants or several people playing together (Individual could be yearning for connections, reaching out, or is learning about sharing and no shame issue or is someone who have no trust issue, loves loosely, free spirit)
(astrology config - 7th or 8th house with mars, venus, jupiter, me, rahu, pluto interplay)

Room 4
Porn Stars/Videos/Internet - continuously engaging in watching videos, schedules revolved around picking ppl from the internet, chatting, watching video (Individual could be very lonely, not able to socialize, and yearning for companions or relationships without strings attached)
(astrology config-2nd or 3rd house with me,mars,ve, rahu interplay)

Room 5
Erotic massages/touch/senses - the need to be constantly touched by people (Individual could be yearning for higher source that can stimulate their senses, gives them inspirations, the need to feel true love instead of artificial love and yearning for real feeling instead of illusions)
(astrology config-1st, 7th, 8th house with ve, sun, saturn, rahu, moon interplay)

Room 6
Exhibitionist/Showing/Audience - the need to expose an intimate personal part of oneself to others (Individual could be yearning for attention and the need for others to appreciate them, take notice of them or need to shout out that they are capable of something)
(astrology config- 1st, 7th, 8th or 12th house with sun, moon, ve, mar,me, neptune, ketu interplay)

Room 7
Fetishes - all kind of fetishes you can think of, including human waste....(Individual could be yearning for the power to take control or take charge of a situation, ability to stomach risks and how worst things can be and able to come out of it, fearless, extremist, and in illusions without a true sense of belonging anywhere)
(astrology config-6th, 12th, 8th, 4th house with mars, saturn, ketu, neptune interplay)

(okay...i can't continue much on the rooms already although there are a lot of classifications out there...am exhausted thinking...)

Active signs where the houses reside is also important as how the individual will express this side of them, example if Gemini side is active, the individual is capable of handling many partners at the same time (Orgy room 3), or Capricorn, the individual will most likely prefer bondage or one to one depending on what other planets are interplaying, or Scorpio where the individual will try everything and find the most intense of sexual acts that can satisfy them, Pisces will most likely prefer role play and fantasies, unconventional type or sensual touches, Leo will most likely prefer one to one or being dominant or get dominant by someone else and slavery, etc.

Where ever you are at, cultural background can also contribute to how society looks at sexual addicts. It is better to be a sexual addict at a more liberal country rather than example, at here Malaysia where religion zealous people or government will try their hands at rehabilitation to you where they do not have any information or expertise or understanding of, or even politicizing on the issue as well (like how they try to rehab the lgbt community). You have been fed spiritual values that are contradicting to your moral values and thus have spiritual warfare within yourself, when all you have is an addiction that you need to understand and how to take control of it with the help of professionals if this addiction is out of control and make your life difficult.

Of course am not encouraging you to be a sexual addict, but from my works, this addiction is real, and I do foresee in the next few years, more people will get into this addiction (it is already happening now and escort services are feeding the fetishes of stressful people for the money they can profit from) people need an outlet to confide, to get help, and with life here which is getting more stressful, less connection with real people (on the internet hiding behind chat rooms all the time without real communication) , all these add up and can spin you to this addiction faster than ever before. It's very addictive and if everyone is judging and try to be a saint when they don't understand this addiction, it will be more difficult to handle when it happens to you or your closed ones.

Anyway, I opined, the best way to this addiction is first, admitting that you have a problem, try abstinence and work things out with someone you trust and never be harsh on yourself. It is just like a disease, where you need time to heal, time to get well and a plan to get well.


Original Article here



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