Difference between Love and Sex

Love is the most difficult aspect to describe in the universe. Everyone has their own interpretation of love. It is, as some may say, the ultimate paradox of our universe. Some mix sex with love i.e. you make love. But really is that so? sex equals love? love equals sex? So if you love you mother, you have sex with her? duh...

God is all loving i.e. unconditional love (or compassion as some would put it). Thats not sex :-)

Well, perhaps we shall start with sex. Sex is a physical act. It is a bodily need and is a selfish need by nature. Well some may say that "hey look, I make sure my partner enjoys it as much as I do". Well, yeah... that's nice and very considerate of you but is that really love? Or is it just for the ego trip that you get i.e. the feeling that you are a great lover for bringing your partner to orgasm with you. Or better still... multiple orgasms. If that is so... then at the bottom of your mind, it is still your own selfish satisfaction. Well at least its still better than some people who are so into their own selfish need that they would only consider their own sexual gratification. They would not even consider if their partner has enjoyed the intercourse. All that's in their mind is ejaculating!

BTW, I may be talking in terms of men here but the reverse is also true for women though in a different manner. When a woman gives in to making love to her husband after a terrible fight with him, is she really making love to him out of love or is it an offering of her body to appease or please him? or perhaps, by offering her body to him, she gets that satisfaction (albeit temporary) that she is still beautiful and desirable. Sounds ridiculous? Believe me... there are many women like that around.

In a relationship that has fundamental problems (or perhaps an extremely karmic one) in it, sex most certainly does not solve the problem. In fact, it may increase it. If you are obviously in a relationship that is not getting you anywhere, sex may complicate matters if it results in a pregnancy. I am not saying don't have sex with your spouse. Do not get me wrong. What I am saying is if you are thinking of using sex as a way to solve your marital problems, think again. It ain't gonna work. What works, is sitting down and talking about it and finding a resolution to your marital woes. The best solution is to set common goals and align to that common goal. Both may have differing views and methods as to how to achieve that goal but that's a small matter. The important thing would be to have that goal and work towards it. The process of getting to that goal would bring you both together again. However, if the differences are just to great to bridge, then parting ways would be the better option for the higher good of both parties and kids too. Now this may go against traditional eastern views but really who's to say whether the eastern view or western view is right. There is no right nor wrong as it truly depends on the circumstances unique to every couple. It is cruel to let your kids see you both argue/fight every single day. It is cruel to call your spouse profanities/names in front of your kids. What would you be teaching them?

Sex is like the peak satisfaction you get when you have not found love. Sex is just a fleeting moment. Once spent, its spent. It only provides temporary relief. In some circumstances, there are people who after getting bored of sex with one partner, change partners in the hope of re-igniting the excitement within themselves (not the partner). And it becomes a vicious cycle. For such people, you have mixed up happiness with pleasure. You will never find happiness this way, only temporary pleasure derived from sex. It is still empty after the initial excitement.

Someone once said that when we are in love, sex may not even be necessary. I know of a couple whom the wife lives in Malaysia whereas the husband lives in India. They've been living like this for the past 10 years. They are both spiritual people. She was a trainer in a personal development company. They did not have the need for sex. But every time they are together for that short few weeks every year, they are 100% with each other and give each other undivided attention. Sex wasn't necessary. When they revealed this to some of her trainees, they couldn't believe what they hear. However from the manner in which they revealed it, it was obvious to all present that they were not joking.

Love cannot be described with words. As Love is the ultimate force in the universe. It is the force of God. As beings of light created in His likeness, we are, by nature, wired to love. All other emotions originate from love. This includes fear, anger and hatred as Yoda put it to young Anakin in Star Wars.

For couples in love, just holding hands, or sitting in silence, or walking along the beach taking in the scenic view can be fulfilling. They may talk a lot or they may not talk much. But they do things together. If we care for the other person more than we care for ourselves, that is love. And that is the same love that Jesus in all his compassion had for us all when he sacrificed himself to raise humanity to the next level of consciousness.