With the coming age, more and more couples may find that they are at crossroads in their relationships. This is particular to those who have not been working on their relationships or have swept it under the carpet, so to speak. So it is no surprise that the universe is forcing things out in the open in order for couples to resolve their issues and decide on their relationships direction i.e. to re-align or to break it up. There is no right or wrong. Like I have stated before, I do not advocate breaking it up. I would advocate looking at ways to re-align first and to exhaust all avenues first before deciding on terminating the contract. There are many ways to re-align but the core of it all would still be communication.
Perhaps a good place to start for couples going through a bad patch now would be to understanding why they have gotten into a romantic relationship in the first place. What was it that attracted them to each other? The true spiritual reasons to become romantically bonded are to share love, to accelerate your spiritual growth and to have more joy on your spiritual path. This is not to say that single people cannot have equal joy but most people are more the bonding type. However bonding comes in many forms. For most young couples, it was hormones J. But that does not mean they cannot make it work once the “honeymoon” ends. Perhaps by re-kindling that spark that brought them together would at least get them to sit down and talk things out.
Where forgiveness is required, forgive not forget. But that does not mean that the party that was wronged can use that incident for emotional blackmail in the future. To use that for blackmail means there was no forgiveness in the first place. When one forgives, one forgives and let go, never bringing it up again. A wise man once said, “To forgive is divine but only a fool forgets”. However, forgiveness does not just come from the party that was wronged. The most important party to give forgiveness is the party who seeks forgiveness i.e. self-forgiveness. Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” As A Course In Miracles says, “Forgiveness is the key to happiness.” Lack of forgiveness hurts self much more than it hurts others. All that happens in life are lessons, challenges and opportunities to grow. Mistakes can be turned into gold by learning from them!!!
Another important key to making relationships work is to learn to have preferences instead of expectations (attachments and addictions) in your relationships. The Lord Buddha said that all suffering comes from your attachments. A preference on the other hand is an attitude in which even if you don’t get what you want you are still happy. With expectations, if you don’t get what you want you usually get upset and angry.
Next is the concept of commitment. When a couple takes their marital vows to bond in holy matrimony, a spiritual contract is signed for this one life time. As in all mutually consenting contracts, commitment is required to keep that spiritual vow on all levels. It is also a commitment to communicate when things are bothering you and not sweeping it under the carpet. Commitment deals with holding up your end of the partnership on all levels. It is a commitment to love and to help your partner, as well as yourself, to become actualized to their highest potential.
Let’s not forget listening. In issues you are both dealing with, it is absolutely essential to learn to listen to your partner before needing to come up with your own opinions and thoughts. Listening is caring. The lesson here is truly to listen and hear what your partner has to say. Remember... each of us as souls have seeked out incarnation in the physical plane to learn certain soul lessons. We are all sons and daughters of God. We are the God within. Hence, your partner is “God” visiting you in physical form and same goes for you to your partner. Aren’t you both interested in what God has to say? That is why you need to be true to yourself. This is why you must listen and have compassion.
Having said all that, the most important relationship in your life however, is not your relationship to your spouse or partner, your children, the ascended masters or God. The single most important relationship in your life for making your relationships work is your relationship to yourself. If you do not even like yourself, how would you expect another person to like you? If you are wrong with yourself, you will be wrong with God, and your partner. If you are run by your emotional body, your inner child, your negative ego and your subconscious mind, how can you possibly be right with another person?
From the experience of most spiritual relationship counsellors, and I am sure marriage conselors probably have similar stats, 80% of marital problems can be cleared up by getting each person into their own personal power, self mastery, self love, proper parenting of their inner child and the conscious creating of their own reality. The second most important relationship in your life is your relationship to God or a higher power. Once these two relationships are right, one’s romantic relationship problems would resolve itself. But if both these relationships are not right, one’s romantic relationship would also not be right.
As Dr David Stone said, everyone in a relationship needs to understand that romantic relationships are the ultimate teachers for spiritual growth and Self realization. There is no better way to become Self-realized than to be in a marriage and/or committed romantic relationship. The romantic relationship is guaranteed to bring up all, and I mean all, of your stuff. Any dysfunctional pattern or complex that is in your subconscious mind which is not apparent is guaranteed to be triggered. Anyone can be spiritual living in a cave, in a monastery or in the Himalayas. The true test of being spiritual is living in the “real world”. If you can practice the presence of God in your romantic relationship, you can do it anywhere. Romantic relationships are the ultimate teaching tool if you will use them in that way. There is also much spiritual growth and beauty that comes from being with one person for a whole lifetime. One is not better than another; it is just a matter of learning from the life experiences and destiny that unfold for us.
Related Post:
- Is your spouse an asset?
- The difference between love and sex
- What to do in an extremely karmic relationship
- Re-examination of relationships that no longer serve us
- Ending a Romantic Relationship
- Keeping the Romance On in your Romantic Relationships
Great blog you people have maintained there, I totally appreciate the work.
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