Everything Happens for a Reason...pt 2

The old Chinese folktale about the farmer, his son and horse perfectly explains the title of this posting. I will repeat it here again:

There lived an old farmer with his son at the northern frontiers. He had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbours came to condole over his terrible loss. The farmer said, "What makes you think it is so terrible?"

A month later, the horse came home--this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbours became excited at the farmer's good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, "What makes you think this is good fortune?"

The farmer's son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbours were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, "What makes you so sure this isn't a blessing?"

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only the farmer's son, because he had a broken leg, remained. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other. Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

Look back to your life now. Have there ever been events that if you look at it now you would say they were turning points in life whereby you were forced to make decisions as to which path to take. At that time, you may not have been pleased with the decision you have made. Neither were you happy at the circumstances that drove you to such crossroads nor forced you down any one path. But because you made that decision or took a certain path, events (positively perceived or negatively perceived) unfolded, that led you to places and people that made major impacts in your life. Impacts that enriched your life so much that you would not exchange it for anything else. And all that was possible only because of events that were perceived to be bad at the time of happening.

From my own life experience, events that happened almost two decades ago took me down a path that I actually hated but that path took me to people and other events that eventually brought me to where I am with the knowledge and growth that I now possess. All that would not have been possible if that event did not happen almost 20 years ago.

EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

What if you want to attract love and be joyously happy? But then you get caught up in the details of WHO, and you think that a particular person is the answer to your perfect relationship. The Universe can see way into the future, and it knows if a particular person will fulfill your dream or become your nightmare. When you don't receive the love of a particular person, you might think the law is not working. But it is working. Your greatest desire is to attract love and be joyously happy, and the Universe is saying, "Not him or not her, and please get out of the way, I am trying to deliver the perfect person to you."

I can again relate this from my own life experience on how I met my better half. I had just recovered from breaking up with my ex after a 4 year relationship and actually started dating an attractive lady. We both liked each other. Her job takes her offshore for extended periods but we keep in touch whenever we can. She never fails to call me whenever she returns home from abroad. She had many qualities that I liked but somehow it’s like things are stuck. Then for some reason, she said to me not to continue waiting for her as she does not know when she can be ready to settle down due to her job commitment. If it happens it happens, if I find someone else, she is ok with me letting her go. I was like, “what the hell?” Well, to cut a long story short, I knew what I wanted in my life partner but I was very fixated on the lady that I was dating. So though I would really liked to have settled down with her, I surrendered to the universe my criteria for a life partner not expecting anyone else to meet that criteria. Other girls came and went while I still dated her with her full knowledge (I sensed that she was a bit sad probably with the prospect of possibly losing out). Then one day someone arranged a blind date for me and I was like “Oh come on... you have got to be kidding me”. But a friend present at that time said to me, “So what if it’s a blind date. You won’t know where it would lead you do you?”. So I decided to give it a try, what have I got to lose anyway. Lo and behold, that decision led me to the woman who would later become my spouse. She has all the criteria that I have listed down (I should have listed more “grin”) and today I have a beautiful family.

If I had stubbornly stuck to the status quo at that time, would I have what I have today in another form? Maybe... maybe not... but I would not exchange what I have now for sure.

Therefore be very careful about getting caught up in the "who," "where," "when," or "how," because you could block your true desire from being delivered to you.

Related post
Everything happens for a reason pt 1

Law of Attraction in Relationships

In terms of relationships, you may be convinced that someone is right for you when in truth they may not be. You may be asking for a harmonious, happy, loving relationship with a particular person, but if the Universe can see that you are not able to have that happy relationship with that person, the Universe will not bring them to you. That is if your vibration is that of harmonious, happy, loving etc whereas his/hers is anything else but that. Therefore have faith and just ask for a harmonious, happy, loving relationship, and then allow the Universe to deliver your perfect partner to you - whoever they may be. Sometimes we are so fixated on a particular person as our ideal partner that we fail to notice the real ideal partner when he/she passes us by.

You are in a partnership with the law of attraction, and it is through your partnership that you are creating your life. Every other person is in a partnership with the law of attraction as well, and they are creating their own lives. That means you cannot use the law against another person's free will. If you attempt it, you run a real risk of attracting your own freedom being taken from you. 

You cannot use the law of attraction against someone else's free will. If you think about this deeply, and in particular in regards to love relationships, you can only come to one conclusion: thank goodness the law operates this way. If it did not, then somebody else could decide you are the love of their life, and use the law on you. They cannot do that, and neither can you. 

We are evolving human beings, and as we grow our frequency changes. A relationship ending between two people is the result of the two people no longer being on the same frequency. When frequencies of people no longer match, the law of attraction automatically responds by moving them apart. Frequency change is growth, growth is life, and life is good. 

Trying to change someone is a waste of time. The very thought of changing someone is saying that they are not good enough as they are, and it is soaked with judgment and disapproval. That is not a thought of appreciation or love, and those thoughts will only bring separation between you and that person. 

You must look for the good in people to have more of it appear. As you look only for the good things in a person, you will be amazed at what your new focus reveals. 

It is not enough to know the principles in The Secret - you must DO them, unceasingly, every single day. You must LIVE the principles. Step by step you will become the master of your thoughts and feelings, and the master of your life. 

There is nothing more important than this, because your whole future life relies on you. 

Keeping the Romance On in your Romantic Relationships

Further to my write up on Making your Romantic Relationships Work, I thought I would just add a few more opinions on keeping the Romance On in your Romantic Relationships. Some people may wonder what has this got to do with spiritual growth and personal development. Well... make no mistake about it. Your relationship with your spouse has everything to do with your spiritual growth. As stated before, we are the “God” within and therefore our spouse is “God” visiting you in physical form. As Dr David Stone said, everyone in a relationship needs to understand that romantic relationships are the ultimate teachers for spiritual growth and Self realization.

Anyway, coming back to maintaining the Romance in one’s Romantic Relationships. It is a common belief that there is an inevitable loss of romance in all marriages especially when children come into the picture. I thought that once myself. And it took a simple statement from a movie to make me realize that that is not true. The romance, the passion, the spark can be kept going indefinitely. However, it takes effort to achieve this. When issues of having children, money pressures or job pressures come in, it is easy to get lost in the grind of life and put romance to the back seat. For those of you who are already making conscious effort not to allow that to happen, kudos to you. But I am sure the majority are not so lucky.

Sometimes it is often the little things that make all the difference such as writing little loving notes, making a loving phone call, bringing flowers or buying a little gift for no special reason and creating special times for romantic intimacy. No one size fit all here. If you are not a person who writes notes, well, getting you to write notes would be a tall order. But something you do when you were courting can easily be maintained now to keep the spark on. Sometimes it can be simply listening and pillow talking to your spouse. Of course in terms of talking, women will talk more than men. It has been scientifically proven that women use approximately 20,000 words a day on average while men only use 7,000. So, men, just listen.. J

We need to be conscious as to not go on automatic pilot. And this is admittedly quite difficult with issues of money, children, work pressure etc. But it is nevertheless important to remain vigilant for God and God’s kingdom. It is easy to let down and sometimes say things you don’t really mean out of mental fatigue or just slip of the tongue. A master remains vigilant at all times and never lets down, even for an instant, his or her attunement to God in thought word and deed. God and the ascended masters hear and watch everything, and everything is written into the soul records.

Once a while, go on a romantic vacation, even if it is just for the weekend. This will do wonders for a relationship. It is often hard to maintain the spark, romance and passion in the daily grind of Earth life. Even when you have children, short vacations away can be arranged and it is fine to take the children along or leave them with their grandparents. Even a family vacation can have time off for romance. It's a matter of having the will to do it.

On the issue of sexuality, this is quite a complex issue. While sex is not the one and all in a romantic relationship, it is nevertheless an important part of it. Each couple will differ in terms of what this means. Some couples can get along fantastically fine without sex. But the majority probably can’t. That’s fine. Higher level initiates may not have sexual relationships as much as younger disciples, although there is no hard and fast rule. Ascending couples may be interested in tantric sexuality which will be for the purposes of both enjoyment and raising the sexual energy. With tantric sex, the couple uses sexual involvement as a type of meditation.

As what Dr David Stone recommends, couples must find a selfish/selfless balance in terms of the sexual relationship so that both parties’ needs are met. Both must ask for what they want and be willing to teach their partner. Often relationships get into sexual habits and ruts that become rather unexciting after a while, and both parties must be willing to experiment a little and, perhaps, take some chances. It is essential that both parties be willing to initiate sexual involvement, for this should not be only the man’s job. Both partners should try to serve one another’s needs first, while also enjoying the sexual interaction. Communication in this area, as in all areas of life, is the key. With sexuality, as with all things, balance, moderation and integration with other areas of one’s life need to be maintained. It is another form of communication and an expression of love. Sexual expression is appropriate when it serves the Higher Self and not the lower or carnal self. Sexuality is appropriate when it is loving, supportive, and pleasurable to both partners. Sexuality is appropriate in terms of that which creates intimacy and love.

Last but not least, at least for now, “Love develops from letting go not from holding on.” We’ve heard it many times before, even in movies, that if you love someone, let the person go. Hanging on comes from the need to feel love. That is needy and is of the ego and is usually due to lack of self love. One must understand that holding too tightly to love kills love. Preferences should be stated and then let go of. If something is meant to be it will come back to you, and if it is not meant to be, just let it go. A bond based on this truth is the most powerful and long lasting bond, for it is free of all coercion.

Related Post:

• Is your spouse an asset?
• The difference between love and sex
• What to do in an extremely karmic relationship
• Re-examination of relationships that no longer serve us
• Ending a Romantic Relationship
• Making you Romantic Relationships Work

Making your Romantic Relationship Work (updated)

With the coming age, more and more couples may find that they are at crossroads in their relationships. This is particular to those who have not been working on their relationships or have swept it under the carpet, so to speak. So it is no surprise that the universe is forcing things out in the open in order for couples to resolve their issues and decide on their relationships direction i.e. to re-align or to break it up. There is no right or wrong. Like I have stated before, I do not advocate breaking it up. I would advocate looking at ways to re-align first and to exhaust all avenues first before deciding on terminating the contract. There are many ways to re-align but the core of it all would still be communication.

Perhaps a good place to start for couples going through a bad patch now would be to understanding why they have gotten into a romantic relationship in the first place. What was it that attracted them to each other? The true spiritual reasons to become romantically bonded are to share love, to accelerate your spiritual growth and to have more joy on your spiritual path. This is not to say that single people cannot have equal joy but most people are more the bonding type. However bonding comes in many forms. For most young couples, it was hormones J. But that does not mean they cannot make it work once the “honeymoon” ends. Perhaps by re-kindling that spark that brought them together would at least get them to sit down and talk things out.

Where forgiveness is required, forgive not forget. But that does not mean that the party that was wronged can use that incident for emotional blackmail in the future. To use that for blackmail means there was no forgiveness in the first place. When one forgives, one forgives and let go, never bringing it up again. A wise man once said, “To forgive is divine but only a fool forgets”. However, forgiveness does not just come from the party that was wronged. The most important party to give forgiveness is the party who seeks forgiveness i.e. self-forgiveness. Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” As A Course In Miracles says, “Forgiveness is the key to happiness.” Lack of forgiveness hurts self much more than it hurts others. All that happens in life are lessons, challenges and opportunities to grow. Mistakes can be turned into gold by learning from them!!!

Another important key to making relationships work is to learn to have preferences instead of expectations (attachments and addictions) in your relationships. The Lord Buddha said that all suffering comes from your attachments. A preference on the other hand is an attitude in which even if you don’t get what you want you are still happy. With expectations, if you don’t get what you want you usually get upset and angry.

Next is the concept of commitment. When a couple takes their marital vows to bond in holy matrimony, a spiritual contract is signed for this one life time. As in all mutually consenting contracts, commitment is required to keep that spiritual vow on all levels. It is also a commitment to communicate when things are bothering you and not sweeping it under the carpet. Commitment deals with holding up your end of the partnership on all levels. It is a commitment to love and to help your partner, as well as yourself, to become actualized to their highest potential.

Let’s not forget listening. In issues you are both dealing with, it is absolutely essential to learn to listen to your partner before needing to come up with your own opinions and thoughts. Listening is caring. The lesson here is truly to listen and hear what your partner has to say. Remember... each of us as souls have seeked out incarnation in the physical plane to learn certain soul lessons. We are all sons and daughters of God. We are the God within. Hence, your partner is “God” visiting you in physical form and same goes for you to your partner. Aren’t you both interested in what God has to say? That is why you need to be true to yourself. This is why you must listen and have compassion.

Having said all that, the most important relationship in your life however, is not your relationship to your spouse or partner, your children, the ascended masters or God. The single most important relationship in your life for making your relationships work is your relationship to yourself. If you do not even like yourself, how would you expect another person to like you? If you are wrong with yourself, you will be wrong with God, and your partner. If you are run by your emotional body, your inner child, your negative ego and your subconscious mind, how can you possibly be right with another person?

From the experience of most spiritual relationship counsellors, and I am sure marriage conselors probably have similar stats, 80% of marital problems can be cleared up by getting each person into their own personal power, self mastery, self love, proper parenting of their inner child and the conscious creating of their own reality. The second most important relationship in your life is your relationship to God or a higher power. Once these two relationships are right, one’s romantic relationship problems would resolve itself. But if both these relationships are not right, one’s romantic relationship would also not be right.

As Dr David Stone said, everyone in a relationship needs to understand that romantic relationships are the ultimate teachers for spiritual growth and Self realization. There is no better way to become Self-realized than to be in a marriage and/or committed romantic relationship. The romantic relationship is guaranteed to bring up all, and I mean all, of your stuff. Any dysfunctional pattern or complex that is in your subconscious mind which is not apparent is guaranteed to be triggered. Anyone can be spiritual living in a cave, in a monastery or in the Himalayas. The true test of being spiritual is living in the “real world”. If you can practice the presence of God in your romantic relationship, you can do it anywhere. Romantic relationships are the ultimate teaching tool if you will use them in that way. There is also much spiritual growth and beauty that comes from being with one person for a whole lifetime. One is not better than another; it is just a matter of learning from the life experiences and destiny that unfold for us.

Related Post:

• Is your spouse an asset?
• The difference between love and sex
• What to do in an extremely karmic relationship
• Re-examination of relationships that no longer serve us
• Ending a Romantic Relationship
• Keeping the Romance On in your Romantic Relationships

Ending a Romantic Relationship (updated)

The famous Marriage/family Counselor, Virginia Satir said, “Communication is to a Relationship what Breathing is to Living.” In other words, for any relationship to work, the pre-requisite is to have open communication channels. Where the lines of communication are not open, the relationship is as good as doomed to failure.

But what if the future of the relationship already looks bleak i.e. you think you have already exhausted all avenues to make it work.

Well, first and foremost, know that divorce is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it is the right choice. Life is too precious for one to hang on to a relationship that no longer serves one’s higher purpose. Neither should one leave the relationship too soon. I most certainly do not advocate what most young people now do i.e. they are quick to talk about breaking up when there was the first sign of an argument or disagreement. This is childish and should be stopped especially if you have this pattern going on. Every couple should make an agreement and a spiritual vow not to speak of breaking up unless you really mean it. And this should be only after all other options have been attempted. It is amazing how a simple agreement like this can sometimes make an enormous difference in the relationship. There was an incident whereby a young lady kept talking about divorce to her husband and they were just two weeks into their marriage. Within two weeks, she moved back to her mother’s house. Sigh!

Therefore, before going down that line of mutual separation, every couple should first deal with the feelings of disappointment in their relationship. Were expectations too high and unrealistic? Note that no one is to blame here. It must be understood that disappointment stems from attachment, addiction etc. According to Dr David Stone, it gets back to the lesson of needing to have only strong preferences. Happiness needs to be inside of self, not based on what another person does. There is nothing wrong with having strong preferences. But the nature of a preference is that you are happy whatever the outcome.

If we are disappointed in a relationship, that is a sign of having expectations which are the same as addictions and attachments. Now again this is the ideal. If you can’t shake it by the process of attitudinal healing within self, then share it with your partner. Again this comes down to communication.

Most of the time, by sitting down and communicating with one’s spouse, most issues can be addressed and the couple can re-align to common goals and move on. So.. when couples or one party in the relationship talks about breaking up (divorce), have they really exhausted all avenues? Perhaps there are ways to save it after all. But of course, it would take two hands to clap. However, let’s just assume that there don’t seem to be much to look forward to anymore... it really is a bleak situation.

Well, in the context of Karma, we need to know if a relationship is really worthwhile to continue. The key here is that we should never leave a relationship until you learn the lessons of that relationship. Otherwise you are destined to repeat the same lessons again with a new partner!

Therefore, one should never make such a decision (to divorce) when one is emotionally triggered. When one has calmed down and is more objective, one must consider if the person you are involved with meets enough of your preferences (or criteria in a spouse). No person on this planet Earth or in the infinite universe will meet all your preferences. They will just have to meet enough of them to make the relationship worthwhile. If you are in at a lost on this, a good start would be to make a list of all the things you hope for in your spouse and your relationship. And I do mean actually writing it down (or typing it out). Then you need to also have a list of all the reasons why you would want to remain in this relationship, and then a list of why you want to get out.

Once it is written down, you can then look at it objectively to know what you are getting and what you are not getting to see if the relationship meets enough of your preferences for it to be worthwhile. What may be worthwhile for a few years may not be for the long run. There just are no hard and fast rules on this. This is an exercise to do by yourself, between you and God. It will give you a very realistic look at your reality and the choices you are making.

In the event that the decision is made to end the relationship, it should be ended with total love, forgiveness and non-judgment. In other words, you should part in good terms. Otherwise, you will have to reincarnate with that person or another like that one in a future life. If you forgive and end in unconditional love, and your partner doesn’t, you are freed from the karma, and your partner who is holding a grudge will have to reincarnate in a future life with someone similar to you who did not learn the lesson. For you to be freed, you do not need your partner to learn the lesson; you only have to learn your own lessons.

Related Post:

• Is your spouse an asset?
• The difference between love and sex
• What to do in an extremely karmic relationship
• Re-examination of relationships that no longer serve us
• Making you Romantic Relationships Work
• Keeping the Romance On in your Romantic Relationships

Difference between Love and Sex

Love is the most difficult aspect to describe in the universe. Everyone has their own interpretation of love. It is, as some may say, the ultimate paradox of our universe. Some mix sex with love i.e. you make love. But really is that so? sex equals love? love equals sex? So if you love you mother, you have sex with her? duh...

God is all loving i.e. unconditional love (or compassion as some would put it). Thats not sex :-)

Well, perhaps we shall start with sex. Sex is a physical act. It is a bodily need and is a selfish need by nature. Well some may say that "hey look, I make sure my partner enjoys it as much as I do". Well, yeah... that's nice and very considerate of you but is that really love? Or is it just for the ego trip that you get i.e. the feeling that you are a great lover for bringing your partner to orgasm with you. Or better still... multiple orgasms. If that is so... then at the bottom of your mind, it is still your own selfish satisfaction. Well at least its still better than some people who are so into their own selfish need that they would only consider their own sexual gratification. They would not even consider if their partner has enjoyed the intercourse. All that's in their mind is ejaculating!

BTW, I may be talking in terms of men here but the reverse is also true for women though in a different manner. When a woman gives in to making love to her husband after a terrible fight with him, is she really making love to him out of love or is it an offering of her body to appease or please him? or perhaps, by offering her body to him, she gets that satisfaction (albeit temporary) that she is still beautiful and desirable. Sounds ridiculous? Believe me... there are many women like that around.

In a relationship that has fundamental problems (or perhaps an extremely karmic one) in it, sex most certainly does not solve the problem. In fact, it may increase it. If you are obviously in a relationship that is not getting you anywhere, sex may complicate matters if it results in a pregnancy. I am not saying don't have sex with your spouse. Do not get me wrong. What I am saying is if you are thinking of using sex as a way to solve your marital problems, think again. It ain't gonna work. What works, is sitting down and talking about it and finding a resolution to your marital woes. The best solution is to set common goals and align to that common goal. Both may have differing views and methods as to how to achieve that goal but that's a small matter. The important thing would be to have that goal and work towards it. The process of getting to that goal would bring you both together again. However, if the differences are just to great to bridge, then parting ways would be the better option for the higher good of both parties and kids too. Now this may go against traditional eastern views but really who's to say whether the eastern view or western view is right. There is no right nor wrong as it truly depends on the circumstances unique to every couple. It is cruel to let your kids see you both argue/fight every single day. It is cruel to call your spouse profanities/names in front of your kids. What would you be teaching them?

Sex is like the peak satisfaction you get when you have not found love. Sex is just a fleeting moment. Once spent, its spent. It only provides temporary relief. In some circumstances, there are people who after getting bored of sex with one partner, change partners in the hope of re-igniting the excitement within themselves (not the partner). And it becomes a vicious cycle. For such people, you have mixed up happiness with pleasure. You will never find happiness this way, only temporary pleasure derived from sex. It is still empty after the initial excitement.

Someone once said that when we are in love, sex may not even be necessary. I know of a couple whom the wife lives in Malaysia whereas the husband lives in India. They've been living like this for the past 10 years. They are both spiritual people. She was a trainer in a personal development company. They did not have the need for sex. But every time they are together for that short few weeks every year, they are 100% with each other and give each other undivided attention. Sex wasn't necessary. When they revealed this to some of her trainees, they couldn't believe what they hear. However from the manner in which they revealed it, it was obvious to all present that they were not joking.

Love cannot be described with words. As Love is the ultimate force in the universe. It is the force of God. As beings of light created in His likeness, we are, by nature, wired to love. All other emotions originate from love. This includes fear, anger and hatred as Yoda put it to young Anakin in Star Wars.

For couples in love, just holding hands, or sitting in silence, or walking along the beach taking in the scenic view can be fulfilling. They may talk a lot or they may not talk much. But they do things together. If we care for the other person more than we care for ourselves, that is love. And that is the same love that Jesus in all his compassion had for us all when he sacrificed himself to raise humanity to the next level of consciousness.

Past Lifes & Present Relationships (Part 5/5) - Examples

Continued from Part 4


EXAMPLES

In order for us to really understand how all of this occurs in life and relates to our own lives, let's look at some real-life examples.

Like most young girls, Linda Mills wanted to fall in love with a wonderful man, have a family and live a rich, full life. When she met her future husband, she was genuinely attracted to him, though she knew he wasn't everything she had dreamed about. She especially didn't like his tendency to make decisions for her. Nevertheless, their love for each other was strong and they felt a deep mutual attraction. An added joy was that they were quite comfortable with each other around their friends and family.

They married and had two daughters. For Linda, the first daughter was a joy. Throughout the pregnancy and after the birth she and her new baby were very comfortable and happy with each other. They spent many wonderful hours together nursing and rocking while Linda softly hummed lullabies. But life with her second daughter was quite a different story. The pregnancy was uncomfortable, filled with sickness and stress, and after the birth she and the baby just never seemed to get into sync with each other. The baby didn't seem to enjoy being held or rocked like the first child and breastfeeding was a battle. In fact, the baby developed an allergy from the breast milk, and formula had to be substituted. Only the father's touch was comforting to this little one, and as she grew up her preference for him became even more evident. She was clearly "Daddy's little girl," while the first child was certainly Mommy's.

When this family received a past-life reading from Edgar Cayce, the cause of many of their present feelings and actions quickly surfaced. Apparently, Linda and her husband had been husband and wife before, but in the incarnation just prior to this one, they had been father and daughter, respectively. His tendency to make decisions for her and control her life was a carry over from being the father. In that past life Linda had been a rather wild and rebellious child. This was due in part to her resentment that the man who had been her equal in many lifetimes was now her father. It was a difficult life for him, too. Raising her was very hard, especially after the death of his wife in that lifetime. Naturally, all of these feelings carried over into their present life and marriage.

As for the children, the first daughter had been Linda's close friend through many lifetimes, bringing this love and friendship into the present life. In their most recent past life, the first daughter had helped Linda deal with the problems Linda had had with her father (Linda's present husband), and now as their daughter she would do so again. Now the second daughter had been the father's lover in many past lives, so you can just imagine the mutual enmity this created between the mother and daughter in the present. Linda's milk wasn't all the baby was allergic to! Neither did she want Linda's love and comfort as much as she did her father's. The father and his second daughter would have to learn to love each other in a much different way or break one of the strictest taboos, incest. All of these feelings were occurring subconsciously, of course, subtly affecting the conscious life.

As we can see, the deep currents of past experiences were playing a significant role in their present relationships. According to the Cayce readings, their goal now, from their souls' point of view, was to live together again and make an effort to accentuate the love and virtues, and minimize the resentments and bad habits they carried with them as a result of their past.

In another case, despite all his efforts to ignore or resist it, Michael Parks was afraid of the dark. His fear of the dark was not like most children's; he was deathly afraid, to the point of suffocating if left in the dark too long. As far as he and his parents could recall, his childhood was rather normal and nothing had occurred that might have caused this fear. Yet, during all of his childhood life in his parents' home, anyone in charge of him had to be aware of his fear and take precautions to insure that he was never inadvertently left alone in a dark room or house. His parents were very tolerant of his fear, caring for him in every way and were unusually understanding and sympathetic. And later, when he married and started a home and family of his own, his wife assumed the burden of his fear. She too proved to be very patient with him. Together they worked out an elaborate scheme whereby he could go to bed with the lights on and she would come to bed after he had fallen asleep. Only then would she turn the lights off so she could fall asleep. Even so, if he awoke during the night, he would become extremely anxious and uncomfortable. He would have to fight to keep himself from panicking before turning on his bedside light. But once the light was on, the only way he could get back to sleep was to go into the living room, turn on all the lights and sleep on the couch, knowing the lights would be on while he slept.

One night Michael awoke from a terrifying dream, a dream that was to be the beginning of his conquering the fear. He dreamt he was in a dark dungeon surrounded by wet stone walls that went up so high he couldn't see where they ended. There was absolutely no way out and no one was coming to help him. As he stood there he began to cry. He cried so long and hard that the cell began to fill with his tears. When he noticed the tear-water was up to his chest, he tried to stop crying but couldn't get hold of himself - it all seemed too horribly fixed, so unchangeable that he felt completely trapped without hope of ever seeing light or life again. Eventually, the pool of tears reached his nose and he had to stand on his tiptoes to breathe, yet he continued to cry. Slowly he allowed himself to ease under the water, drifting into a sorrowful, lonely dream of letting go, surrendering his will to the reality of his predicament. At this point he awoke from the dream. The sheets were soaked and his body was covered with chilly sweat. When he told his wife and parents the dream they cried and were very upset by it. However, underneath, Michael was beginning to feel pretty good. In fact, he noticed his fear of the dark had actually diminished since the dream. It was as though something in that dream had healed and changed him.

About a year later Michael happened to take part in a series of exercises for recalling past-life experiences. From the information he received during these exercises and several more dreams over the next two years, he began to understand why he was afraid of the dark.

In a previous incarnation he had been a renegade from the courts and causes of Louis XIV. So violent and disruptive were his counter-attacks against the king that he became one of the most wanted men in France. His raids destroyed many of the king's storehouses, and his ability to elude capture created a great deal of hatred among the king's soldiers charged with capturing him. One day they did capture him and in retaliation for his actions and also as a result of their frustration with trying to stop him, they threw him into the bottom of a well-like dungeon, covered it and left him there to die a slow death. In this terrible place of complete darkness, he managed to survive for several days. In the beginning he was sure his friends and his wife would come to his rescue. But as time went by he realized that no one was coming and he lost hope and died. In the latter days of his ordeal he lost all sense of time and his mind began to fall apart. He could no longer be sure of what was real and what was illusion. But the worst part was the unrelenting darkness and confinement. This was what his soul remembered and most feared.

Just as we might expect, his current parents and wife, who helped him deal with his fear in the present life, had been the very people he had counted on to rescue him from the dungeon. His father and his wife had been his close friends and colleagues-in-arms, while his present mother had been his wife in the French incarnation. They didn't go to his rescue because he had become so notorious that it would have been too risky to attempt to save him without being captured and thrown into the dungeon with him. To a great degree, his own actions had brought him to this end, yet his parents and wife regretted that they had not at least tried to rescue him. His present-life dream was too much for his parents and wife to hear without deeply reacting to his ordeal. However, Michael's reliving the experience in his dream somehow released him from his life-long fear of the dark.

In yet another less dramatic case, a man who had fallen in love with a divorcee found himself struggling with his feelings. He eventually married her and tried to be the best stepfather to her child he possibly could, but when he discovered that he could not father children himself, he felt cheated and fought feelings of resentment toward the special relationship between his wife and her child. When he received a past-life reading from Edgar Cayce, he was told that in a previous incarnation in ancient Greece he had been married to the same woman. In that life she was the one unable to conceive a child. Though aware of her sadness and heightened sensitivity because of the added implications of being barren in those days, he chose a second wife to bear him a child. He further shamed and humiliated her by bringing the second wife and child to live in the same house, forcing her to witness the open joy and affection expressed in the little family. In his present-life circumstances, according to Cayce, he was merely meeting himself: though he deeply desired his own offspring, he was impotent; and though living in his own home, he felt like an outsider to the love shared within it.

Taking advantage of the present situation and making life as miserable as possible for her husband would simply be setting herself up for a future destiny of sadness. The law of karma is very impersonal: What one does, one experiences, without exception. If this woman now chose to help her husband meet his fate as best she could, she would heal many wounds and free herself at the same time.

In still another case, a beautiful woman from the modern cosmopolitan life of a big city came to Cayce and described her tragic predicament, asking for a remedy. Her present husband was impotent and she was a beautiful woman in the prime of her life. Why? Why was she in such a tragic situation? she lamented. She went on to say that there was another man she knew at work, and she wondered if she could have an affair with him yet remain with her husband...because she did love her husband; she simply wanted to fulfill all of her womanhood. Cayce responded by showing her why she was faced with such a dilemma.

In a past incarnation during the Crusades, she and her present husband were also married to each other. He was then one of the greatest of the Crusaders, often going off to war. However, every time he left, he saw to it that she wore a chastity belt, literally putting her under lock and key! Then and there she swore deep in her heart she would get even with him, and now, Cayce said, she had him right where she'd always wanted him - in a position where she could make him pay dearly.

What a triangle! I wouldn't be surprised if the other man had also been hanging around the castle while the rest of the men were off to war. At any rate, here they were again, set up perfectly to play out resolution or revenge for past actions with each other. The husband had used his free will to squash his wife's, forcing her to submit to his sexual restraints without any choice on her part. Now he found himself sexually restricted and frustrated, and completely subject to her will and her choices. She now had the power to make him pay.

But this was a loving as well as lovely woman. She found herself torn by her marriage vow and her desire to simply enjoy her physical beauty and youth. Paradoxically, she also found herself wanting to make a success of her marriage and her home, and despite his past wrong, she loved her husband and he returned that love in so many ways. If only he were able to sexually fulfill her. What a tangled web. The choice was completely hers; nothing was standing in her way.

Cayce advised her to do whatever she would want done to her if she were in her husband's shoes, and she did. She withdrew from the other man's affections and built a loving home with her husband. We might well feel that she suffered twice in the relationship, but if she had only not wanted revenge on him, she wouldn't have had to be with him again. The true karma was within him. She got involved again by her desire to get even with him. No doubt she will eventually incarnate into a life filled with physical, mental, emotional and spiritual happiness and the rest of the world will probably look at her and think she is lucky rather than deserving.

One example of how past lives can affect non-family relationships is that of a businessman who happened to receive many readings from Edgar Cayce. In fact, these readings are just phenomenal in what they reveal "behind the scenes," so to speak, in illustrating what profound effects past-life experiences and emotions have on present relationships, and a "typical" business meeting, in this case.

When Walter Morrison walked into a board meeting, he was walking into a history that reached far beyond his present life. Amid the members of this board were souls who had been his conquerors, his servants, his concubines, his cohorts and his bitter enemies! Imagine what the underlying motivations were when Walter made a proposal which the group had to vote on, or when Walter had to cast his vote concerning a proposal by one of the other members of this band of souls. Who among the group would tend to support him? Who would tend to thwart his efforts and ideas? And who would he tend to support and resist? Many of these answers are predictable based on their past-life experiences with each other, experiences that they would innately respond to on a soul level because of their past affinities and antipathies for one another.

Walter himself was curiously amazed at how well the past-life readings predicted his present feelings for various members of the board. Only in a few cases did he find he really didn't have any particular innate reaction to a member. And in most cases, the members that consistently rubbed him the wrong way were those who had been on his bad side in past lives, and those that seemed to agree and support him consistently were those who had done so in the past.

When relationships are viewed with a past-life perspective, the dynamics of the behavior, including the attitudes and emotions in a relationship, become more than just current moodiness or general personality traits. There are undercurrents of memory that simply cannot easily be ignored. Before we look into how we can discover our past lives, let's look in the next chapter at another example from the Cayce material, an example that gives us an overview of soul-life and soul-history over many lifetimes.

-END

Previous parts...

Part 1 - Soul Life

Part 2 - Soul Groups

Part 3 - Soul Mates and Twin Souls

Part 4 - Parents and Children

Part 5 - Example

Sexual Addiction (part 2) - an addiction of pure lust

From the desk of Oscar Lai

continued from Part 1

While attempting to write this post the whole day, my mind was filled with sex. Oh gee...not like it's what you are thinking. Anyway, the info here might not be in it's totality and, based on what is channeled best and written is another story.

Sex addiction, is an addiction of pure lust and physical and these individuals often have huge commitment problems, and fear of becoming close to someone. A real sex addict, does not really enjoy sex, and instead it causes a chain reaction of shame, guilt, fear, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Most times, when a sex addict is married, they will not get off by having normal sex with their spouse, let alone, a sex addict is incapable of feeling true love, and therefore usually in most cases, relationships do not work out. A sex addict can however, learn how to become a decent person, and learn how to feel if they are thorough and honest with their recovery. Support from their loved ones will be of utmost importance and tolerance for a successful recovery as well.

There are many types of sexual addiction and different classifications, such as porn addiction and in most cases, there are added paraphernalia, which are abnormal and most time dangerous fetishes in which one cannot get off by anything else. It can also be accompanied by abuse of drug or substances and alcohol abuse.

There are also sex addiction that stems from trauma, such as sexual abuse in one's past. Some people develop sex addiction from learned behaviors of abuse, or even very traumatic incidences in childhood. This type can also become very dangerous, given the fact that there are many sex addicts who resort to get off by violence and hurting people, and are trapped in that habit, and equally, they may disassociate and constantly hurt themselves.

On another side, it is also entwined with personality disorders and chemical brain imbalances, where this mental disease is rare, but can begins at birth or early childhood. Causes are unknown, thus it is classified as a mental disease, and chemical brain imbalance. It can also result from other mental illnesses. Please note that addictions do not choose what or who you are, you can be a professional in some high flying job, or you can be plain Jane. Everyone is human and every human have an addiction of some sort.

There are many differing opinions on the religious side of sexual addiction, or in fact any other addictions as it is categorized as the same. However, I am really wondering about on the spirituality and energy side. This is because sex itself should be a pleasure between couples in relationships and individuals, and it is an art in Kamasutra and Tantric sex,and it is also tied with creativity and awakening of the Kundalini in energy modules.

On the spiritual side, all sex addicts have a powerful physical and spiritual healing ability to some extent. They are so captivated with the sexual and physical aspect that they then become intent on abusing such power. If learned properly, a sex addict can be a very powerful healer.

Most sex addicts are highly insecure or not confident. However, they appear highly charismatic, sociable, and have the ability to entice and seduce many people with their strong auras. Their partners will also become addicted to them. On another side, some are also extremely egoistic, self seeking, and like to be in the spot light. They tend to enjoy bragging about their problems.

Sex addiction has many symptoms, such as frequent injuries due to sexual behaviours, depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses entwined with it, the famous feeling of guilt and shame, suicidal thoughts, black outs, anger problems and other emotional problems. When deprived of sex, a sex addict will act out dangerously.

On another side of this where I opined, I would also say that human, once have abundance of something, will not take it as a surprise anymore as they get "their devil side fed", and thus as a form of release, able to accept themselves and steer back to normality in real. Release it as it comes, feed the devil side and let it subside, and then re-enforce light when the mind is centered again and increase the light side against the dark side. Healing might be easier in this way. But the addict should also be able to help in ways of abstinence or taking back the control and power over their own dark side. Just like a simple example, if everyone can afford a luxury here, say Iphone, then Iphone is not something of a luxury anymore where you will have to sell a kidney for an Iphone (a girl in China doing so). It has become normal and when the desire of acquiring it is not strong, it can be under control. It is hard to satisfy a million desires, so why not try harder to control one desire that leads to the million desires. The effort put into controlling that one desire and able to come out of it is worth it.

So if we are to understand what sort of game or sex act or fetish that sex addicts are looking for and if it is a cry for something higher beneath their soul yearning, what could it be? Why do they do what they do in an addictive continuous manner? Imagine if we are a sex addict, and we are to walk into a big clubhouse with the only intention of getting sex, no inhibitions, no one judging or disrespecting you at all . And in these rooms, all kind of games are in play, which room would you knock on?


Room 1
Slave/Submissive sex - where you listen to your Master and do what they ask you to do. (Individual could be a powerful person in real life who have been giving orders to other people, and thus would choose this room for a change)
(astrology config- 6th or 12th house with saturn, rahu, ketu, mars, moon, pluto interplay)

Room 2
Bondage/S&M - where you got tied up, whips and chains are your best friend and pain is pleasure (Individual could be yearning for a higher power that can release him/her from one controlling power for freedom, or instead of taking control all the time, someone to take control of him/her in real)
(astrology config-7th house with mars, ketu, saturn, venus, neptune interplay)

Room 3
Groupies/Orgy - group participants or several people playing together (Individual could be yearning for connections, reaching out, or is learning about sharing and no shame issue or is someone who have no trust issue, loves loosely, free spirit)
(astrology config - 7th or 8th house with mars, venus, jupiter, me, rahu, pluto interplay)

Room 4
Porn Stars/Videos/Internet - continuously engaging in watching videos, schedules revolved around picking ppl from the internet, chatting, watching video (Individual could be very lonely, not able to socialize, and yearning for companions or relationships without strings attached)
(astrology config-2nd or 3rd house with me,mars,ve, rahu interplay)

Room 5
Erotic massages/touch/senses - the need to be constantly touched by people (Individual could be yearning for higher source that can stimulate their senses, gives them inspirations, the need to feel true love instead of artificial love and yearning for real feeling instead of illusions)
(astrology config-1st, 7th, 8th house with ve, sun, saturn, rahu, moon interplay)

Room 6
Exhibitionist/Showing/Audience - the need to expose an intimate personal part of oneself to others (Individual could be yearning for attention and the need for others to appreciate them, take notice of them or need to shout out that they are capable of something)
(astrology config- 1st, 7th, 8th or 12th house with sun, moon, ve, mar,me, neptune, ketu interplay)

Room 7
Fetishes - all kind of fetishes you can think of, including human waste....(Individual could be yearning for the power to take control or take charge of a situation, ability to stomach risks and how worst things can be and able to come out of it, fearless, extremist, and in illusions without a true sense of belonging anywhere)
(astrology config-6th, 12th, 8th, 4th house with mars, saturn, ketu, neptune interplay)

(okay...i can't continue much on the rooms already although there are a lot of classifications out there...am exhausted thinking...)

Active signs where the houses reside is also important as how the individual will express this side of them, example if Gemini side is active, the individual is capable of handling many partners at the same time (Orgy room 3), or Capricorn, the individual will most likely prefer bondage or one to one depending on what other planets are interplaying, or Scorpio where the individual will try everything and find the most intense of sexual acts that can satisfy them, Pisces will most likely prefer role play and fantasies, unconventional type or sensual touches, Leo will most likely prefer one to one or being dominant or get dominant by someone else and slavery, etc.

Where ever you are at, cultural background can also contribute to how society looks at sexual addicts. It is better to be a sexual addict at a more liberal country rather than example, at here Malaysia where religion zealous people or government will try their hands at rehabilitation to you where they do not have any information or expertise or understanding of, or even politicizing on the issue as well (like how they try to rehab the lgbt community). You have been fed spiritual values that are contradicting to your moral values and thus have spiritual warfare within yourself, when all you have is an addiction that you need to understand and how to take control of it with the help of professionals if this addiction is out of control and make your life difficult.

Of course am not encouraging you to be a sexual addict, but from my works, this addiction is real, and I do foresee in the next few years, more people will get into this addiction (it is already happening now and escort services are feeding the fetishes of stressful people for the money they can profit from) people need an outlet to confide, to get help, and with life here which is getting more stressful, less connection with real people (on the internet hiding behind chat rooms all the time without real communication) , all these add up and can spin you to this addiction faster than ever before. It's very addictive and if everyone is judging and try to be a saint when they don't understand this addiction, it will be more difficult to handle when it happens to you or your closed ones.

Anyway, I opined, the best way to this addiction is first, admitting that you have a problem, try abstinence and work things out with someone you trust and never be harsh on yourself. It is just like a disease, where you need time to heal, time to get well and a plan to get well.

Original Article here

Past Lifes & Present Relationships (Part 4/5) - Parents and Children

Continued from Part 3


PARENTS & CHILDREN

As difficult as it may be for us to believe, each soul actually chooses its parents - with one exception. If a soul has abused its gift of free will, then it comes under the strong influence of the Universal Law and is carried along on the force of its past actions into present relationships that it simply must face up to. Of course, no soul is given more than it can handle, not that it won't suffer, but it won't be totally lost or destroyed by the burdens of its karma. Generally, however, a soul chooses its parents prior to entering the Earth.

As we would expect, souls who have had experiences together in past lives will have a stronger attraction for each other than souls who have had no past experiences together. Even if souls aren't particularly fond of each other they still tend to be drawn together by the force of their past interaction. Furthermore, if the soul has a specific purpose for incarnating, and most of us do, then it will be seeking others who are a part of fulfilling its purpose or those who can at least contribute to it. Again, this doesn't mean that the childhood family life will be all hugs and kisses. In every relationship one can find advantages and disadvantages, and in order to enjoy the advantages one must accept the disadvantages. In fact, in many cases, the disadvantages lead to or create the opportunities for the advantages. When a soul is trying to decide which channels (parents) would be best for it to enter this world, it has to accept the limitations of this particular family as well as the opportunities.

From the spiritual realm Earth-life appears much like a river when viewed from high above, a bird's eye view. The soul who is deciding which channels to enter through sees the river in all its vastness, with many tributaries and branches, and it sees where the parents' boat is on this river of life. In this way it has an overview of what life will be like with these parents. However, because the river of life has many side-routes, the incoming soul can only see the strongest current in the parents' lives. It can't be sure that one of the free-willed parents won't change its mind and begin pursuing a different course, or that the currents themselves won't change course and thereby change the family's future. It can't even be certain that it won't change its own mind once it gets into the boat.

Destiny and fate do exist, and they exist side by side with free will. The effects of our past actions have an inertia that carries over into the present life and shapes it, thereby creating our destiny. However, nothing surpasses the power of the soul's divinely-given free will. At any time we can use our will to change directions, change attitudes, change purposes, change anything! In this way, our lives are both fatalistically foreshadowed by the cause-and-effect forces of our past use of free will, and yet amenable to change by our present use of free will. Therefore, the incoming soul can see only the general course of the family's riverboat; it can't be sure the family will stay the course.

The incarnate parents also have significant influence as to which soul enters through them. Their daily thoughts, desires and purposes create a beacon for souls who respond to these energies. This is particularly true of the mother. Her daily activities and inner thoughts during the gestation period create a field much like a magnet would, attracting souls to the field of opportunity life as her child would offer. As you would expect, more than one soul may be attracted to the same mother-to-be. In such cases, the forces of cause and effect, the will power and desire of the mother and the souls wanting to incarnate combine to make the selection. The souls who were not chosen for the present entry may well come in through a later pregnancy if the opportunity is presented. Thereby becoming siblings of the souls who entered first; or they may go on to other families with whom friendships or other blood relationships would naturally form and be maintained with the original channel family.

The soul generally enters the baby body at or near the time of birth. In one unusual case in the Cayce readings, the soul did not enter for two days after the birth of the baby. When asked about the delay, Cayce responded that the soul was all too aware how very difficult life would be should it choose to enter, and it wasn't at all sure it wanted to go through with it! Cayce was then asked what kept the baby's body alive for two days while the soul wrestled with its decision, and he responded, "the spirit." For Cayce, the soul was the entity, with all its personal memories and aspirations, and the spirit was the life force.

According to the metaphysical work of Rudolf Steiner, the soul actually incarnates in four stages. 1) A first level of consciousness enters at or near the time of birth. 2) A second and greater level of consciousness enters around the time the child cuts it first teeth. 3) A third level enters during puberty. And, 4) The final and complete entry of the soul occurs close to the age of twenty-one.

Most sources agree that the first couple of years of life are primarily devoted to developing the physical body and that the years from two to seven shape much of the child's sense of self and its view of the world. In addition to the well-known physical and emotional changes that occur during the course of puberty, Cayce and other metaphysical sources add that this is the time when karmic influences begin to take hold, coinciding with the release of hormones. This perspective sheds so much light on the otherwise baffling or incomprehensible changes in personality and behavior that sometimes accompany this stage of physical development. Around the age of 21 the individual begins to assume its major course through life. Then, life progresses through a series of experiences and decision crossroads. These occur in natural and identifiable cycles, the most influential being the Seven Year Cycle: 1-7, 8-14, 15-21, 22-28, and so on. Notice how these cycles coincide with the general metaphysical cycles of: Birth; seven years of age; puberty (though puberty usually occurs before age 14, it is fulfilled at or near this age); and twenty-one years of age.

Furthermore, each soul experiences life in two primary arenas 1) The inner world of self, which includes one's mental and emotional being and physical body. 2) The outer arena of life's unique circumstances, including the social, economic, racial, national and religious environment, all of which are generally set at birth and the outer world has pre-structured in specific ways.

To be continued in part 5

Part 1 - Soul Life

Part 2 - Soul Groups

Part 3 - Soul Mates and Twin Souls

Part 4 - Parents and Children

Part 5 - Example