Searching within myself.. I've found that I'm basically a "protector" of "my sanctuary". Sort of a guardian of sorts.
Looking outwards and reflecting on the way I've lived... I found that, yea, that's sort of it.. I usually like my surroundings to be peaceful and quiet.. Like an ashram. I like the things that are important to me to be in their place, well cared for, nurtured etc etc.
However, when external threats come... Well it depends.. If its a small matter that my intuition says will have no effect on the sanctuary, I usually ignore and let it blow over.
However, if a major threat.. Then I find that I would confront it head on in the most brutal "mo yen cheng" way. And I have found that I have an unlimited reservoir of raw anger to draw on that no amount of fierce opponent have been able to overcome. Most opponents are stunned and turn stone cold when confronted with that.
I sometimes scare myself with that part of me... At the same time, I also glee at it. Scary. Am I losing my mind?
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