What's on my mind? Relationships between a married couple

Sometimes as I watch a couple drift apart, and when I look at them individually, I see 2 very individual persons who are clearly not aligned in their vision and aspirations, I wonder… what was it that got them together in the first place

Clearly, typically we humans would let hormones rule our decisions at the courting phase. Let's face it, your better half looks cute no matter what he/she does while you're courting. And the small stuff… well, they remain the small stuff. We're madly "in love"

But after signing on the dotted lines, and going thru the "elaborate" wedding ceremony in accordance to our own culture and tradition. i.e. Chinese u get virgin boy jump on bed-lah etc etc etc (And different chinese sects also different… pengsan)… after the honeymoon (or for some, the very next day), reality brings them back down to earth.

All of the sudden, his belch isn't so cute anymore… (and she farts!!!???)… not to mention the usual toilet bowl lids, toothpaste covers etc etc etc. The small stuff suddenly become "big" issues. And then problems start.

All the "small stuff" starts to add up. This coupled with work commitments, finances, differing style to raising kids etc etc etc. Somewhere, sooner or later, something would snap and the first salvo would be fired… And I don't think I need to say more about what eventually happens as this keeps repeating and repeating over the years.

I think all these problems would not have happened if they were aligned to the same vision from the start in the first place. And to know if both are aligned… well… communicate.

Obviously, in every marriage, one would be the stronger individual. But both would still have their strengths and weaknesses. The key, I believe would be to capitalize on each other's strength and complement each other to play down the weaknesses, while maintain good communication with each other, and have a common vision of what we want to achieve together and stick to it. I think, with that in place all the small stuff remains just that… small stuff.

There's a lot more to write on this topic but I think I'll just stop here.
Just my two cents...