Our Ego - to starve it or to embrace it

Anton Ego from Ratatoille

We all have egos. Some of us have egos bigger than life itself... haha


In wikipedia, the first paragraph on "Ego" states... In spirituality, and especially non dual, mystical and eastern meditative traditions, individual existence is often described as a kind of illusion. This "sense of doership" or sense of individual existence is that part which believes it is the human being, and believes it must fight for itself in the world, is ultimately unaware and unconscious of its own true nature. The ego is often associated with mind and the sense of time, which compulsively thinks in order to be assured of its future existence, rather than simply knowing its own self and the present.


In essence, ego is that part of us that says "me", "I want" etc. Ego has to do with our desire for status, for our self-esteem (or the lack of it :p), feeling of worth, etc etc.


When we want to buy a big house in an expensive neighborhood, is it to feed our ego or not? Well... it depends on our intention. Some people do buy a place because they feel comfortable with that new place, or for security etc. But there are also those who would choose a neighborhood because of its stature. Then their friends can go "wah... you soooo rich..." and they feel good. When we long for that mercedes (for example), usually its our ego wanting it. Some of us like to be seen driving a BIG car, a luxurious car, so that heads turn when we drive pass. That's our ego talking.


An example of when its our ego talking and when its not...


I know of a couple whom were staying in a $300k house in a gated community. Recently, the husband (a business man) bought a new house at over $2 million. The security isn't at all fantastic. All you needed to do was to wave and the security guard lets you in. But the neighbors are all well to do members of society. The first thing that came to my mind was that why do you need to buy such an expensive house for? I believe it was the need to feed one's ego and feel that one has "arrived". Granted, you are a business man but is it necessary? There was no valid reason why the need to buy that place.


On the other hand, I also know of another couple whom were staying in a condo who moved to a gated high security community for less than $1 million. The security is tight and one feels safe in that community. The reason that couple moved there was because the kids have grown up and so they needed more space.


See the difference in reasoning and come from? 

Status is being well respected among the poor. Truly successful people have no need for status. They do not need to feed their ego. Yes.. they still have egos but their humility is bigger.

I'm not saying this is bad. No... our egos are part of us. While some would say starve it. I tend not to agree with that approach. I believe we should embrace our egos but be aware of who is in control: the real you or your ego. I believe that if we try to starve our ego, it may bounce back with a vengeance for being denied. So, a better approach in my humble opinion would be to accept that you have one, treat it like a "friend", and well.. occasionally give it its moment but be the one in control.


There is nothing wrong with buying a new toy to give our ego that little bit of "moment" but that's about it. Once its over, its over (moment over). As we do that, we also start moving from there towards what makes you happy as a person. Eventually, you will find that your ego would diminish and it also starts rejoicing in higher things that make you happy. You have tamed your ego. Of course, this is just my opinion and is simply put. 


Somewhat not so related but still relevant articles:
What we do is soo loud, people don't hear what we say
Dumb egoistic people who just want to be right